Tuesday, 14 March 2023

AN OPEN LETTER TO FUTURE FRATERNITY MEMBERS


 

“A picture is worth a thousand words”

An adage in multiple languages, the phrase, according to Wikipedia, generally attributed its modern use to Fred R. Barnard who, in 1921, wrote “One Look is Worth A Thousand Words” promoting the use of images in ads.

During my college days, the popular hit song “If” by the Bread, drew on the essence of the phrase in its opening lyrics: “If a picture paints a thousand words.”

Speaking of pictures, a tandem pops up in my mind while I’m writing this article. The first picture is a flash from the college past. One time, I dropped in the boys’ dorm room of a friend. Wondering why he was still on his bed under a blanket in the middle of a class day, I asked if something was wrong with him. He took a deep breath, rose from the bed, and got his toothbrush from his locker.

There and then, I saw a picture that was worth a thousand words: the backsides of my friend’s both legs were as dark purple as the eggplant. Without my asking about it, he said he went through a fraternity initiation lately. I was at a loss for words and wrestling with a good deal of head-scratching whys in my mind.

No doubt, the university campus, sitting on top of a hill, was as pretty as a picture then, and conducive to study. But it was located so far off, miles away from home for almost all students, that induced, as expected, homesickness and loneliness. Thanks to the presence of the social groups. Unlike school fraternities that engage specifically in hazing during the initiation, by contrast, social groups all together drew breath the spirit of community in the campus fostering inclusively a sense of belonging particularly among homesick and lonesome students through a variety of competitive activities like sports and choral singing contest among others.

That’s why my friend’s falling into a seemingly covert school fraternity – marginal and unpopular then – caught me off balance. Pondering on the spot, I recalled an instance he shared with me some sort of a daydream -- how he wished to be like Superman – that made me scratch my head. It was amid the spillover of the brewing tribal conflict and the collateral military presence hovering over the campus. At that time, the most dreaded moment a student strolling on the campus would run into -- a drunk soldier in full battle gear.

The picture of my friend’s both legs can be encapsulated in one word – insecurity – an insecurity that, Randy David (in his Inquirer column “Killings that showcase our insecurities”) wrote, “grip young people at the starting point of their professional careers.”




Speaking of killings, sparked off by Ma. Ceres P. Doyo’s Inquirer column, “Hazing victims also to blame” that wrote about John Matthew Salilig’s death, I will roll out next the second picture that is “worth a thousand words.” It is the vein of this news story: “In 2007, graduating UP student Cris Mendez allegedly died during an initiation with Sigma Rho. Former Senator Jovito Salonga resigned as a member of the fraternity because of this incident.” (Wikipedia)

This 16-year-old picture of the killing of Cris Mendez and the subsequent resignation of Senator Salonga “paints a thousand words” in the shape of the following hypothetical letter which, gleaned from his drastic action, could be written by the Senator himself. 

Dear Student,

I am writing this letter to you as a former fraternity member who has come to regret my involvement in a fraternity. Recently, a piece of tragic news broke out about a hazing-related death of a student neophyte in my former fraternity. This news has left me crestfallen and deeply saddened. It has also pushed me to resign from my fraternity membership and reflect on the negative implications that being part of a fraternity can have on one’s life.

I am not writing this letter to judge or condemn your desire to join a fraternity. Instead, I want to share with you my personal experience and the lessons I have learned so that you can make an informed decision for yourself.

As a former fraternity member, I can tell you that joining a fraternity can have both positive and negative aspects. On the positive side, fraternities can offer a sense of brotherhood, and opportunities for leadership and social activities. However, the negative implications of joining a fraternity are far-reaching and can have long-term effects on your life.

First and foremost, as a former fraternity member, I have come to realize that one death is too many. The recent hazing-related death is a tragic reminder of the potential consequences of joining a fraternity. Hazing practices are dangerous and can lead to physical harm, emotional trauma, and even death. It is not worth risking your life and well-being to be part of a fraternity that promotes such practices. We should strive to create a culture that values respect, inclusivity, and safety for all students. No one should have to endure hazing or feel pressured to join a fraternity.

Secondly, fraternities can perpetuate a culture of toxic masculinity, homophobia, and exclusivity. These attitudes can be harmful not only to the members of the fraternity but also to the student body. Fraternities can reinforce negative stereotypes and promote a culture of sexual assault, misogyny, and intolerance.

Thirdly, the negative implications of fraternities extend beyond the schools and into the workplace. Fraternity members may bring harmful behaviors and attitudes to their future careers like heavy drinking and drug use. Fraternities often prioritize their members and may exclude others, perpetuating social hierarchies and contributing to a lack of diversity and inclusivity in society.

Fraternity members who work in the government may bring with them a culture of entitlement, privilege, and exclusivity. This can lead to a lack of transparency and accountability and a disregard for the needs and concerns of ordinary citizens.

Finally, as a former fraternity member, I urge you to think twice before joining a fraternity. The negative implications of fraternities far outweigh the positive aspects. Hazing practices and toxic culture are just some of the potential consequences of being part of a fraternity. It is important to prioritize your safety and well-being and make informed decisions that align with your values and goals in life.

Sincerely,

Jovy



Head still collage photos courtesy of Wikipedia, Spotdotph, Star For All Seasons and Evo & Grace: The Wanderlusts

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