“What do you think I should wear?” Michele (played by Lisa Kudrow) asks.
“I don’t know, you think Einstein walked around in a fuzzy
pink sweater?” Romy (played by
Mira Sorvino) replies.
“Yeah, I guess not,” Michele concedes.
“Of course not, he was an old man. He didn’t care what
people thought,” Romy explains.
A scene from an old movie Romy and Michele’s High
School Reunion about two female best friends highlights the anxieties and
pressures that can come with getting ready for a reunion. Here’s another scene
from an old reunion movie Grosse Pointe Blank.
“Do you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to take a
gun, and I’m going to kill the queen,” Martin (a professional hitman played by John Cusack)
tells Debi (a high school old flame played by Minnie Driver) when she asks what
he’s been up to.
“You’re crazy,” she responds.
“That’s what they say. That’s what they all say,” Martin quips.
The first scene is very familiar; the second, a bit
out of the ordinary. “It’s just a movie,” one may say. But who knows? It’s the
“unknown” ingredient that makes a reunion “action-packed.”
Class reunions have come a long way since the days of
cavemen ringing around a bonfire to dig into the past about their days at the stone
tool-making schoolhouse. In the 1800s, alumni from elite universities began
organizing reunions to relive their glory days of learning Latin and wearing
tweed jackets, with the first known college class reunion held in 1833 by Yale
University graduates. By the 1950s, reunions had become more formal affairs,
with dinner dances and speeches from guest speakers. Nowadays, reunions go as
far as social media groups, virtual events, and good few alcohols. But no
matter how they have morphed, the driving force remains the same: to reconnect
with old classmates and relive the memories of school life, as goes the lyrics
of this oldie but goldie song:
Scattered pictures
Of the smiles, we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were
A class reunion can be a life-changing experience. You
could be unattached, you reconnect with an unhitched someone who takes your
breath away, and you’re dumbstruck for your never having stumbled on such a loner
on the campus then. Before the night wraps up, you thank God of the Second
Chances for His special gift – and it’s not even your birthday.
Or perhaps, you could be meek, and queasy about
crossing the path of your former college Tom-Cruise-look-alike “rival” on the
campus. Before you can say Maverick, you
catch sight of your then lady-killer nemesis – now, a pot-bellied “top gun” –
all the hair on top of his head is gone. After walking in, sitting, and taking
it, beforehand, like a loser, you walk out, calling it a day, feeling like the new
winner.
Showing up at a class reunion can be an emotional
rollercoaster – a challenge to navigate deep-rooted relationships and confront
the reality of how much time has passed. But the psychological benefits of
nostalgia make it all worthwhile.
In his book, The Art of Aging, psychiatrist and
geriatrician Dr. Sherwin B. Nuland writes about the importance of nostalgia in
later life. He says, “nostalgia is a way of maintaining and prolonging the
emotional benefits of those moments and periods of time that have been most
precious to us.” He goes on to say that “nostalgia allows us to recapture if
only for a moment, the feelings that we experienced when we were at our best or
when we were surrounded by the people who meant the most to us.”
As we
reminisce, we tap into feelings of warmth, comfort, and familiarity that can
help us cope with the hang-ups of the present. So, whether it’s laughing over old
photos or shedding a tear over lost loves, a class reunion is a journey through
our emotions and memories that’s worth taking, as goes the lyrics of this oldie
but goldie song:
Faded photographs, covered now with lines and creases
Tickets torn in half, memories in bits and pieces
Traces of love long ago that didn’t work out right
Traces of love
Taking
a nostalgic trip down memory lane, here’s one beautiful story that paints the
poignant words “Traces of love long ago that didn’t work out right.”
Ed and Bing, now both a senior
couple, have a blast-from-the-past bittersweet love story just like in a movie.
He was a “bad boy,” brawler, and troublemaker; she, the apple of every boy’s
eye, honor student, declaimer, cultural dancer, and a rich daughter. “Bitter”
because Bing spurned Ed’s love in high school.
Interestingly,
Ed stirred me up lately with a memory bit about a love letter I supposedly had
written for him -- being my best friend -- and sent to Bing. Though any trace
of it escaped my memory, I may take it on because I love writing ever since
high school.
Curiously,
how would a love letter sound like written by a guy who shied away from girls
then – especially the pretty ones? Could that letter be the germ why she
rejected him in the first place? If so, a lousy love letter writer, I was then.
Ouch.
To cut
this love story short, it is “sweet” because Ed, unhitched, after decades
of striving and thriving in the so-called land of milk and honey, the USA, at
long last, has come back to his “first love” in high school. As if by a twist
of fate, Bing, unattached, has learned, in the fullness of time, to love
and commit to living with her “comeback kid” lover.
The
couple tied the wedding knot during our recent High School reunion. Just like
in a movie, may they live happily ever after.
Last, but not least, ah, the topic everyone wants to
know: romance and relationship at the class reunion. It’s no secret that a
reunion can stir up old feelings and reignite old flames. How do you navigate
this slippery slope without causing any awkwardness?
That people change over time is essential to keep in
view. What might have been sparking in school then, may not necessarily be still feeding
the fire. If you’re married, stay faithful and true to your partner. It’s easy
to get caught up in the nostalgia and excitement of the reunion, but it’s
crucial to maintain the integrity of your present relationship. If you’re
single and looking to mingle, you’re not the same person you were in school,
and you have a lot of life experience to offer. If there’s someone you’re
interested in, strike up a conversation and see where it goes.
Whether it’s reconnecting with old flames, reminiscing
about the past, or simply enjoying the company of old classmates, with
challenges and sensitivities to keep in mind, the upsides of attending a
class reunion far outweigh the likely downsides. So, if you have the
opportunity to attend your reunion, take it!
Let me conclude this article with three quotes:
"Why attend your class reunion when you have so many school Facebook friends? You can't relive, share, or make new memories online." (Pinterest)
"I love reunions. It's the time my old friends get together to see if they still like me." (Ellen DeGeneres, TV host, writer, and producer)
"You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great." (Zig Ziglar, author and motivational speaker)
A reunion is a good place to start something great -- a beginning of a new chapter in our lives where we hold on to grow, learn, and nurture one another.
Head still photo courtesy of Pinterest
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