Death is a topic that most people avoid or ignore,
until it strikes close to home. But what if we could learn something valuable
from the tragic fate of others who faced death unexpectedly and prematurely? That
is the case of the five men who perished in the Titan sub which suffered a catastrophic
implosion while exploring the Titanic wreck.
What is an implosion? Imagine you’re blowing up a balloon,
you blow so much that it pops. That is an explosion. Now imagine squeezing a balloon
until it pops. That is an implosion. The sub imploded on the way to the Titanic
located at 3,800-meter depth with a crushing pressure 375 times that on the sea
surface.
As I hit the keys of my computer keyboard, the first
pieces of debris from the Titan sub have now been brought to shore.
“There is still a substantial amount of work to be
done to understand the factors that led to the catastrophic loss of the Titan
and help ensure a similar tragedy does not occur again,” US Coast Guard Capt.
Jason Neubauer said.
The investigators will analyze debris from the vessel’s
wreckage, collect evidence, interview witnesses, and hold a public hearing for
more witness testimony that will provide them with critical insights into the
cause of this tragedy.
While we wait for the results of such investigation, we
can also ask ourselves what we can learn from this tragedy as human beings who
share the same destiny as the five men who died. How do we cope with the
reality of death and its unpredictability? How do we find meaning and purpose
in our lives knowing that they can end at any moment?
To answer these questions, we can turn to some wise
words from Dr. M. Scott Peck, a renowned psychiatrist and author of several books
on spirituality and psychology. In his book Further Along the Road Less
Traveled, he devotes a chapter to The Issue of Death and Meaning,
where he quotes a poem by Carl Sandburg called Limited:
LIMITED EXPRESS
I am riding on a limited express, one of the crack trains
of the nation.
Hurtling across the prairie into the blue haze and
dark air go fifteen all-steel coaches holding a thousand people.
(All the coaches shall be scrap and rust and all the
men and women laughing in the diners and sleepers shall pass to ashes.)
I ask a man in the smoker where he is going and he
answers: “Omaha.”
This poem captures our attitude toward death in a
nutshell. We are all riding on a limited express train that will eventually
reach its final destination: Omaha, or death. We are all made of flesh and
blood that will decay and turn to ashes.
Yet we act as if we are immortal, laughing and enjoying ourselves in our comfortable coaches, oblivious to our fate.
Dr. Peck argues that this denial of death is not
healthy or wise. He says that we need to face death squarely and honestly, not
only as an inevitable fact but also as a potential teacher. He says that death
can help us appreciate life more fully, value our relationships more deeply,
and seek our true calling more passionately.
The five men who died in the Titan submersible were
probably not thinking about these things when they boarded their vessel. They
were probably excited about their adventure, curious about their destination,
and confident about their safety. They did not expect to die so suddenly and
tragically.
But their story can serve as a reminder for us who are
still alive: We are all on a limited express train that can stop at any time.
We do not know when or how we will die, but we know that we will die someday.
How do we want to live until then? What do we want to do with our precious time?
Who do we want to be with? What do we want to leave behind?
To illustrate how people cope with death, Peck cited
in his book the works of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, who found that people who were
facing death went through certain stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression,
and acceptance. Let us draw on a typical Covid-19 case to paint a picture for each
stage placing alongside Peck's words.
FIVE STAGES OF DEATH AND GROWTH
Among the nearly 7 million people who have died so far
from the coronavirus Covid-19 outbreak as of July 1, 2023, many have gone
through a similar emotional journey as they faced their mortality. The
following dramatic monologue is based on typical stories of Covid-19 patients
in hospitals all over the world.
DENIAL: “This can’t be happening to me, I’m young and
healthy. I don’t have any underlying conditions. I’m sure it’s just a flu. I’ll
be fine in a few days.”
Peck says that denial doesn’t work for very long. Reality
soon catches up with them. So, they get angry. They get angry at the doctors,
angry at the nurses, angry at the hospital, angry at their relatives, angry at
God.
ANGER: “Why did this happen to me? I did everything
right. I wore the mask. I social-distanced. I washed my hands. It’s not fair
that I have to suffer like this while others are fine.”
Peck says that when anger doesn’t get them anywhere,
then they start to bargain.
BARGAINING: “Please God, let me live. Let my baby
live. I’ll do anything you want. I’ll be a better person. I’ll help others.
Just don’t take me away from my family.”
Peck says that when bargaining doesn’t get results,
they begin to realize that they’re really going to die, and at that point, they
become depressed.
DEPRESSION: “I don’t want to fight anymore. I’m tired
of being in pain. I’m tired of being alone. I miss my husband and my kids. I
don’t think I’ll ever see them again.”
Peck says that if they can hang in there, then they
can emerge from their depression and enter the fifth stage.
ACCEPTANCE: “I’m grateful for every single thing that
I have now … I’m grateful for every breath that I take, every time I get to hug
my kids, every time I get to kiss my husband.”
Peck says that this is a stage of great spiritual calm and tranquility, and even light. “People who have accepted death have a light in them,” he writes. “It’s almost as if they had already died and were resurrected in some psycho-spiritual sense. It’s a beautiful thing to see.”
Paige Deiner was one of the lucky ones who survived
Covid-19. A pregnant woman, she was put on a ventilator for 12 days. She had a
5% chance of survival and thought she would never see her family again. She miraculously
recovered and gave birth to a healthy baby girl.
“But Deiner still faces huge challenges,” CNN
reported. “She can’t cut her own food, tie her shoes or change her baby Soren’s
clothes because of constant pain in her hands. She has trouble walking and
needed therapy to learn how to swallow again. Her sense of taste and smell is
gone.”
CNN reported that there’s still one mystery about her
illness that she can’t answer: Why did she survive when so many others died?
Now consider the following dire situations:
1. A patient learned from his doctor he had cancer.
2. Pregnant Deiner learned from her doctor she had a
5% chance of survival.
3. The five men onboard the missing Titan sub learned
their oxygen supply was expected to run out.
What did these situations have in common? They all
involved facing death with uncertainty and fear. What did they differ in? They
differed in the amount of time they had left to live.
Can you imagine going through Kubler-Ross’ 5 stages of
human crisis within a matter of few hours, ranging from denial to acceptance, in
facing the prospect of death inside that missing Titan sub? The pressure of the
psycho-emotional stress forced upon the five men in the throes of death was too
much to bear, just like the crushing pressure at the depth that
imploded the sub.
Putting ourselves in the shoes of those five men, we
hope will make us more compassionate and respectful towards their tragic fate,
and less prone to making online sick jokes and dank memes which, by the way,
can be seen as a form of black humor or coping mechanism for dealing with the
absurdity and futility of life and death.
LEARN HOW TO DIE
“Why are we so often excessively afraid of death?”
Peck asks and answers his own question. “It is primarily because of our
narcissism…Nothing threatens our narcissistic attachments to ourselves and our
self-conceit more than our impending obliteration. So, it is utterly natural
that we should fear death.”
Peck suggests two ways to deal with that fear. The
common way is to ignore it or deny it. The smart way is to face it and embrace
it as early as possible. He writes:
“[T]he prospect of death becomes a magnificent stimulus
for the psychological and spiritual growth. ‘Since I’m going to die anyway, what’s
the point of preserving this attachment I have to my silly old self?'”
And so, a journey begins toward selflessness. He writes further:
“It is not an easy journey, but what a worthwhile
journey it is. Because the further we proceed in diminishing our narcissism,
our self-centeredness, and sense of self-importance, the more we discover
ourselves not only less fearful of death but also less fearful of life. And we
become more loving.
“This is the central message of all the great
religions: Learn how to die.
“Jesus spoke of it: 'Whosoever will save his life [that
is, whosoever will hold on to his narcissism] will lose it. And whosoever will
lose his life for my sake will find it.'”
Point to Ponder: We are all on a limited express train that can stop at any time. Let’s make the most of it while we have time.
Have a blessed Sunday!
Content put together in collaboration with Microsoft
Bing AI-powered co-pilot
Head photo courtesy of Newsweek
Video clips courtesy of YouTube
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